Thrice
by sockhop
Summary: Three times they almost lost their chance. Three times fate played with their lives.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own R&I.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Three times.

Three times that Maura almost lost her life in the field of her work. Three times that Jane almost didn't get in time to save her best friend. Three times Jane felt her chest tightened and as if her heart is being ripped out of her chest knowing Maura's in danger. Three times that Maura thought her life would end and not doing the one thing she wanted to do ever since she and Jane became best friends. Three times that fate played with their lives. Three times that they almost lost their chance.

* * *

It's frustrating Jane. Their situation right now is frustrating her. A lot. She just rescued Maura, her best friend from the hands of a psycho Dennis Rockmond. And the doctor hasn't recovered from that traumatic event, yet. And now, here they are, trying to make Lydia's baby calm down. Yes, that same fateful night, Lydia left her baby in Maura's doorstep. And Jane fetched the little bundle from the ground not knowing if the baby is her brother or nephew. She was about to use her power to track Lydia down so she can bring the baby back to her but Maura stopped her. Much to Jane's surprise, Maura held the baby and went to her room. Mother and daughter just looked at each other and followed the doctor. They asked her why. And Maura's only response is that the baby is a good distraction from all the events that happened. They let Maura hold the baby while Jane went to the nearest grocery store to buy supplies for the baby.

When Jane came back, the baby was crying hysterically. He must be hungry by that point. Angela and Maura tended to the baby gently. The cry was so loud. Too loud for Jane's ears but her heart shattered into pieces as the cries continued. Jane prepared the baby's milk then handed it to Maura and the doctor started feeding the baby. When the baby started to calm, Angela excused herself and said that she will make tea for them. Now, alone in Maura's room, Jane watched Maura sat on the edge of the bed and fed the baby. A smile was formed in her lips as she watched her best friend. Maura looked natural for it. It felt like she was born for it. And unwanted thoughts came rushing in Jane's mind. What if the baby is theirs? Not wanting to continue this path of thoughts, Jane shook her head and slowly moved forward and knelt in front of Maura.

Maura looked down at her and gave her a dimpled smile. "Hey," Maura whispered.

Jane returned the smile as they are so contagious. "Hey. You okay handling him? Want to switch places?"

Maura shook her head. "No. I'm fine. Just a little sore but I'm okay. I want to keep holding him if it's okay?"

Jane nodded. After all, she couldn't say no to Maura. "Okay. If that's what you want. By the way, you look so natural for it. You know, being maternal."

Maura's eyes lit up and Jane noticed it. Nothing gets past Jane when it comes to her doctor. _Her doctor_. It's weird to think of it but somehow felt right. Even the little things Maura does, they don't get past Jane. She treasures them all the time.

"Really? But before, you said you don't see me as the maternal type when we were having a mud bath."

Jane grinned. "That was just me being a tease. And that was just us bantering like we normally do. And after all, you made me marinated in the dirt."

Maura playfully rolled her eyes at her best friend's antics. "Clay. How many times do I have to tell you it's clay?"

"Fine. Clay, it is." Jane stood up. "I'll just check up on Ma and bring you the tea okay?"

"Okay. Thank you."

Before she left, Jane leaned forward and kissed Maura on her forehead. What she did surprise them both. Never in their entire friendship did they share this kind of gesture. Jane wanted to slap her face for doing it. Maura wanted nothing more than for Jane to repeat what she did. But neither spoke. They just stared at each other for a while as Maura continued feeding the baby and Jane left the room.

* * *

Angela was already sitting on one of the stools while sipping her tea when Jane went down. The younger Rizzoli took a look at her mother and noticed the tiredness in her eyes. Maybe she got tired as it was a long day for all of them. Maybe she got tired taking care of the baby. Or maybe she got tired of all the troubles her family caused. When will it end?

Sighing, Jane walked towards her mother and sat across her. A small smile played on her lips. Angela looked up and met her daughter's gaze. There, she found the reflection of the tiredness she's been feeling. Jane looked exhausted as she was.

"I didn't make you tea because I know you don't like them," Angela said as she slid a cup of tea meant for Maura. "Give this to Maura, will ya?"

"Sure. Did you make me a coffee?"

"No. I want you to rest so no coffee. You can have water instead." Angela smiled slightly then sipped on her tea.

Jane smiled back at her mom. "Nah. It's fine." She sighed then looked back at Angela. "How are you holding up, Ma?"

This time, Angela let out a heavy breath she didn't know she was holding. "I'm okay. Just tired."

"I'm sorry."

Angela frowned. "For what, baby?"

"I'm sorry you have to go through this," Jane replied. But Angela remained silent so Jane continued. "I'm sorry for all the troubles we caused you up until to this day." There was a lump in Jane's throat as she said those words. And Angela could say her daughter was barely holding up before she bursts into tears. Her Jane. Her precious daughter who deserves so much more in this life. Reaching out for her daughter's hands, Angela squeezed them lightly to reassure Jane she's okay. That it's all okay.

"You are all grown up making grown-up decisions. Sometimes you fail, sometimes you succeed. All your success are my treasure. And all your mistakes are my failure. It's what mothers do. They worry for their children even if they are all already grown up. You can't take that away from me because I love you." Angela smiled at her daughter.

Jane didn't realize she just started tearing up. She removed her one hand from her mother's grasp and wiped her tears. She understands her mother. She really does.

"How are you holding up, baby?" Angela asked when Jane calmed down a little.

"I don't know. This is too much. Everything is too much. The baby. Maura. She almost died today. I almost lost her again." Jane whispered the last part.

"What do you want to do, Jane?"

"Keep her safe. Keep Maura always safe." Jane met her mother's eyes.

"Why don't you go back to her? Bring her the tea and just be with her and the baby?"

"That I can do." Jane smiled hesitantly.

Angela stood up and gathered all her things for making a knitted sweater.

"I'll be in the guest house if you need me. Goodnight, sweetheart."

Jane kissed her mother goodnight. "Goodnight, Ma."

When Angela left, Jane remained seated on her chair, wondering what else to do and to think about. She hated the situation she and Maura are in now. Maura is supposed to be resting, right now. Fighting off the trauma of the recent events. And she? She should be right by her best friend's side, comforting her, warding off the negative thoughts of the good doctor, as Maura has always done for her before after some traumatic events, too. Not sitting on the chair in her best friend's kitchen, cowering and trying to escape everything.

Minutes after, Jane looked longingly at the stairs, leading to where Maura and the baby are as she sighed. Finding the courage to go back to the master bedroom, Jane stood up with the mug of tea in her hand and walked back upstairs.

* * *

She found the baby resting on the middle of the bed with Maura, half sitting, half lying on the bed. Her head resting on the headboard, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. Jane stopped on her spot and studied the position of her best friend. She looked so serene and relaxed. So peaceful, like she hadn't gone through something horrible earlier this day. If Maura could only stay that way. If only she could make Maura like that way all the time, she would be at ease. She would be at peace. But no. In reality, they are so wrapped up in constant danger. They aren't really safe. And there's no way she could always protect Maura from threats of life and danger. Jane's heart clenched at the thought and she could feel the beginning of tears forming in her eyes. How could this wonderful person be deceived? How could this perfect and lovely person be betrayed? Maura didn't deserve any of that. She deserved nothing but the best life has to offer. And Jane is determined to give her the best.

Slowly, Jane walked towards her best friend, so slow so she won't wake Maura up. She placed the mug on the bedside table.

Maura felt her presence. She was actually waiting for Jane to come back so they could talk. But Jane took a long time downstairs she fell asleep while resting her head on the headboard. She knew Jane was struggling with something especially after the turn of events today. She understood Jane needed space to calm herself and get her acts together. So she let her be for now.

"Jane," Maura mumbled. She tried to open her eyes but were unfocused. Her body must have finally caught up with today's events. She felt tired.

Jane leaned in and kissed Maura's forehead, ever so gently. Maura felt it and it warmed her heart. They didn't care if they're already crossing some boundaries because it felt good and right at that moment.

"I'm sorry." Was the last words Maura heard before she drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I know it's been a while. And this isn't my normal routine for updating. And it's too lame to say I got too busy so I'll just say I had other priorities that's why I took so long to update. And I'm sorry. But thank you for the feedback, alerts and faves. I appreciate them all. Here's chapter 2.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own R&I.**

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**Chapter 2**

Maura immediately fell asleep as soon as Jane kissed the doctor on the forehead. Jane knew Maura wanted to talk to her. And she knows there will be two things in their conversation. The Dennis Rockmond incident. And the baby incident. Jane also wanted to talk about it. So she can make sure Maura is doing fine. So she can asses what Maura really feels about everything. Being a cop, Jane was already used to dangers ahead when it comes to her work. She's used to near-death experiences. But Maura? Maura didn't know anything much about the horrible things people do. Let alone she experienced it first hand. But Dennis Rockmond made her see how people can be so cruel. And she hated him for that. She cursed him even in his death. Maura didn't deserve to be treated like that. She's done nothing but good things and help others especially the families that lost their loved ones in a brutal way. Maura deserves everything good in life. She doesn't deserve those kinds of treatment.

Sighing, Jane retreated from Maura's bedroom to the guest room. She thought of staying there like she normally does whenever they have sleepovers or too late for Jane to go back to her apartment, but thought better of it. If Maura is gonna take care of the baby, she has to be there and support her all the way. Jane never thought of playing house with her best friend. But now thinking of it, it's actually happening and she couldn't stop it. In all honesty, this playing house and domesticity have been happening already for a long time. She was already practically living in Maura's house. They are doing domestic things together. It's as if they already know the roles of each other. Like, if Maura is the one cooking, Jane will do the dishes or vice versa. The baby just completed the puzzle. Jane would've thought it's weird and so unnatural but somehow it felt right and so easy.

* * *

When Jane went back to Maura's room after she did her routine, she found Maura was still asleep. She smiled knowing that her friend wasn't suffering to any nightmare and having a peaceful sleep. But then she noticed the baby was stirring. She immediately picked up the baby to calm him down so he won't cry and wake Maura up. Jane started rocking the baby back and forth to calm him down.

"Hey, little one. Don't cry, okay? Let's not wake Maura up coz she had a long day today. She also needs some rest." Jane said in a hushed tone.

The baby seemed to stare at her and looked like he knew what she was talking about and what she asked him to do. The baby kept quiet while Jane talked to him non-stop. She was used to babysitting before after all. Soon enough, the baby's eyes were fluttering then soon fell back asleep again. The baby must have sense Jane's pleading to keep quiet so he went back to sleep instead.

Jane placed the baby back to his carrier. And when she looked back up, she found Maura smiling at her. She couldn't help but smile back.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Jane asked.

"You look so natural taking care of the baby. You know how to calm him down."

"Hmm, you didn't drink your tea," Jane said instead of responding to Maura's statement.

"I fell asleep."

"Yes, you did."

"I'm sorry."

Jane shook her head. She instead walked towards Maura and sat on the bed beside her. Now, both leaning on the headboard. Slowly, Jane reached for one of Maura's hands and intertwined it with hers.

"I did a lot of babysitting before."

"You had training. You could be a great mother someday."

"And so are you."

"I don't think I will be a good mother someday. With the way I grew up, I don't know how..."

"You opened your home for that little guy even if you don't know where he came from. You accepted him when neither my mother and I didn't know how to react when I found him. You are selfless, Maura. And that's a trait of being a good mother." Jane looked at her best friend as she squeezed her hand.

"Thank you."

A comfortable silence fell over them. Both lost in their own thoughts. Jane wanted to talk but she couldn't find words how to ask Maura about her condition. Maura, on the other hand, was just waiting for Jane to talk. She's giving her the opportunity to take control this time. But it seemed that Jane was having troubles with her own thoughts. She knew they needed to talk. And this is the best time to talk since both of them are awake.

"Tell me. What are you thinking?" Maura turned to look at Jane. "I need to know what's going on in that big brain of yours."

They say, two am is the best time to talk to someone. No pretensions. No hiding. And you are at your most vulnerable. And for Jane, all of those things are true. She doesn't want to hide nor pretend that everything is fine. That she's fine. And it's okay for her to feel vulnerable at times. So when Jane looked back at Maura, she couldn't help the beginning of her tears to form in her eyes.

"I almost you." Jane tried not to choke on sobs but failed. "I almost lost you again." This time, Jane buried her face on Maura's shoulder, their hands still tangled.

"Jane..."

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't about me. I should be the one comforting you. Not the other way around. I'm so selfish."

"Jane, I asked you, remember? And I'm glad you're telling me what's inside here." Maura pointed at Jane's heart.

"I almost didn't get there sooner. I should've known it was him. He- he almost killed you, Maur."

Maura closed her eyes, remembering the earlier's event. Yes, Jane was right. He almost killed her. If Jane and her team didn't get there sooner, she will probably be dead right now. Just because of her naivety.

"But I didn't die. You came right on time. You saved me. You saved me once again."

Jane sat up and looked straight at Maura's eyes. Maura's eyes were soft and kind. Even after she was betrayed and became almost victim of a psycho killer, her kindness still remained in her. Truly, there are no bad bones in Maura. That same kind eyes that Jane always lost into. That same kind eyes that she won't get tired at looking at for the rest of her life.

"You didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. If there's only way I could re-kill that Dennis fucking Rockmond."

"Language Jane."

"I'm sorry."

"Hold me."

Without being told twice, Jane gathered Maura in her arms. Slowly, Jane slid on the bed with Maura so they are both lying down. Maura's head was lying on Jane's chest, listening to the soft heartbeat of the detective.

"Tell me, how are you feeling?" This time, Jane broke the silence.

"I'm not exactly sure what should I be feeling right now." Maura sighed. "What should I feel, Jane?"

Jane held Maura even tighter. "If I were you, if I was the one who had gone through that. I will feel angry."

"I feel betrayed, Jane. He... he betrayed me. I trusted him. I trusted every word he said, but he just betrayed me like the past boyfriends I had. Worst, he wanted to kill me because I brought his life back. I just helped him. I just..." Maura choked on her own sobs as she buried her face on Jane's neck.

Jane started rubbing Maura's back to calm her down. And yes, it soothed Maura. Jane has the ability to do that.

"We didn't see right through him. It wasn't your fault. It was his."

"All I wanted is to love and be loved, why did it have to end this way?"

"I know. And you deserve love. So much love. I'm sorry this happened. But I promise you, I will protect you, even if it cost me my life."

"Jane..."

Maura looked up.

For a split of second, their eyes met.

For a split of second, nothing else mattered.

For a split of second, their lips touched.

For a split of second, everything felt right.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own R&I.**

**Chapter 3**

* * *

_"Can we pretend it didn't happen?"_

* * *

Maura was the first to wake up the following morning. She left Jane in the bed as the detective is still sleeping peacefully. On her way down, she brought the baby with her so in case he woke up and started crying, Jane wouldn't wake up. The detective spent most of the night, taking care of the baby anyway so Maura could get some decent sleep and rest. Now it's Maura's turn to give Jane that much needed sleep. She put the carrier in the living room. She placed him carefully and gently so he won't fuss. Maura needs to start breakfast for her and Jane.

On her way to her kitchen, she noticed someone's already cooking. It was Angela. Maura wanted to be alone that morning. Process of what transpired between her and her best friend last night. But it seemed she won't be able to do it. She sighed softly and decided she will do it tonight. If and only if she will be alone.

Angela sensed someone approaching. She smiled brightly knowing that it's Maura.

"Good morning honey." Angela greeted brightly.

"Good morning Angela."

"I'm cooking breakfast for you and Jane. I thought you wouldn't wake up soon. Taking care of a baby takes most of the night, you know."

"Yes. Jane was actually awake most of the night last night. I let her sleep in for more hours." Maura said as she began making coffee in her expensive coffee machine.

"Janie used to babysit before. She has a lot of experience so she knows what to do."

Maura smiled. "I noticed. She looks natural taking care of the baby."

"That's why I keep on telling her she needs to have a family of her own." Angela looked at Maura who was only smiling at her as the latter went back to making coffee. Angela did the same. "I haven't asked you, yet. How are you holding up Maura?"

"I'm fine."

"You've been through a lot yesterday. No one's expecting you to feel okay. But if you don't want to talk, I understand. You and Jane, both of you are the same. Telling everyone they're fine but just really keeping it all in."

"I guess, that's the reason why we fit."

Angela looked up at Maura at this. "Yes, you do. You know when to push each other and you know when to step back."

Maura fell silent at that though she knows what Angela said was true. She knows when to push Jane and when to step back as Jane is like that to her also.

After a moment of silence, Angela turned to Maura again.

"I'm done cooking. I'll go back to the guest house. And in the meantime, I will take care of the baby. Is that alright?"

"It's okay, Angela. Thank you." Maura smiled as Angela and the baby left her in her house.

* * *

Jane has been awake five minutes after Maura and the baby left the room. She wanted to follow her best friend but it seems her body doesn't want to move. She was glued to her spot and it's as if courage left her body to follow Maura downstairs.

Knees clutched against her body as her chin rested on top of it, Jane let out a frustrated sigh. She doesn't know how to talk to Maura, let alone face the doctor as if nothing happened last night. But one thing is for sure, she will not abandon Maura or run away from her. She just doesn't know how to begin to talk to her with regards to the matter.

And there's only one thing she wanted to do.

She wanted to clear everything between her and Maura.

If only she didn't do what she did last night, maybe everything will be easy today.

She wouldn't stay too long in the doctor's room and hide.

Jane, again let out a heavy sigh as she closed her eyes and remembered what happened last night. The night that changes everything.

_Flashback..._

_They looked at each other for too long. Longer than they normally do. Jane saw something in Maura's eyes. Pain. Sorrow. Sadness. Plea. The last one was what triggered Jane. It's as if Maura's eyes were saying 'Please don't leave me', 'Please stay', 'Please love me.'_

_Without another thought, Jane leaned in and captured the doctor's lips in a soft kiss._

_The kiss._

_Jane didn't know what prompted her to do that. It just felt right to do it at that moment. It felt perfect._

_They didn't move. It was like just a peck but longer than a friendly kiss. _

_Slowly, Jane's hand slid at Maura's nape to deepen the kiss. Suddenly, their lips were moving in unison. Eyes closed. They just lef=t their hands and do the talking._

_It was slow at first. Soft. Then it became heated. Passionate. Mind-blowing._

_Maura was the first to make the move of contact of their tongues. After all, out of them, she is braver and bolder than Jane ever was. Then they suddenly stopped. Yes widening, it's as if they did something forbidden. It felt like they were burned. It felt like they ate the forbidden fruit. Yet, it felt right and perfect. Yet, they felt it was the right thing to do._

_It was contradicting._

_It was confusing._

_Jane wanted to cry._

_Maura wanted to take Jane in her arms._

_"Maur..."_

_Maura touched Jane's cheeks. "Can we pretend it didn't happen?"_

_Slowly, Jane nodded and turned her back at the doctor. Maura did the same._

_Soon, they fell asleep with a heavy feeling._

_End of flashback..._

Jane didn't know how long she was sitting on the bed until she smelled coffee right beside her and felt a touch on her arm. She looked up and was met with a warm but hesitant smile from her best friend.

"Hey," Jane greeted.

"Hey. I brought you coffee." Maura handed her the mug.

"Thank you but you didn't need to do this."

"I know. I just wanted to. After all, I'm going to take a shower and thought of bringing you coffee."

Jane smiled though she still couldn't still hold Maura's gaze for even a second. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know you were already awake and didn't seem to want to move."

Jane blushed out of embarrassment at her friend's comment. It was too honest. Well, it's Maura Isles she was talking to. The only person who couldn't lie. "I'm sorry."

Maura shook her head. "No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't say those words."

Silence.

"Maur, I wanted to talk to you but I don't know where to begin." Jane finally confessed.

Maura smiled. But somehow, it looked hollowed. Pained. "I'm just going to take a shower. There's breakfast in the kitchen. Your mother cooked it and she has the baby. So, take all the time you need."

Maura turned her back at Jane.

Jane was confused. That wasn't what she expected. Yes, she didn't know how to begin talking to Maura. But that doesn't mean she doesn't want to. Especially, of what happened last night. When Maura turned her back at her, it hurt her. It's stupid because Maura is just going to take a shower. It didn't mean that the doctor will leave her. She's just simply letting her be and giving her space and time. But still, it hurt.

"I don't want to pretend it didn't happen." Jane finally blurted out.

Maura stopped walking and looked over her shoulder. Her eyes are wide. "What?" It came almost as a whisper.

Braver than ever, Jane stood up and walked towards the doctor. Jane stopped in front of her. "I said, I don't want to pretend it didn't happen. It was too important. You are important. I couldn't let it go."

Maura smiled. Her usual smile. Her smile that lights up the whole room. Slowly, she passed her hand on Jane's nape and gave the detective a chaste kiss.

"I don't know what happened last night. There were too many emotions between us. You almost getting killed." Jane cringed when she thought about it again. "The baby. But when I kissed you, it felt right. I don't know what I'm feeling, Maur. But it's there."

"It felt right, too when I kissed you back," Maura confessed.

Jane smiled. It was her first genuine smile after she woke up. She grabbed Maura by the waist and gathered the doctor in her arms as she kissed the honey blonde on top of her head.

"I cannot promise I won't hurt you. But I can promise I won't do it on purpose. And I can promise I won't leave you behind just like what others did. No. You are worth it, Maura Isles. You deserve nothing but the best. You deserve love. I may not be worthy now, but I will work on it."

A promise.

A promise of forever. That she and Jane will be together until the end. Until their last breath.

It is so much more for Maura than hearing the three magical words from Jane. Suddenly, her heart is getting lighter. Her morning, brighter. Her life made sense. Jane made sense. They make sense as they really fit each other well.

Maura looked up with happy tears in her eyes. "And I promise I will always be here. I will be whatever you need me to be. Be it the doctor you need me to be. Your confidante. Your go-to person. Your best friend."

They shared a smile.

Finally, Jane cleared everything between her and Maura.

Finally, Maura found the love and affection she deserved.

Downstairs, they heard a closing door and a cry of an infant. Both looked at the door when they heard Angela screamed for them.

"Maura? Janie? Do you still have some formula for this baby?"

Smiling, even more, Jane tightened her embrace at Maura as she leaned in and whispered in the doctor's ears. "This is what I want."

Maybe what happened yesterday was a blessing in disguise.

Dennis Rockmond.

The baby.

Maybe those two incidents happened so they can finally confront their true feelings. So they can finally get what they really deserve. That Maura can love and be loved in return. And that Jane could protect the most important person in her life. And so that they can face tomorrow and the upcoming days of their entire life, together. Hand in hand.

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**END.**

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**AN: I apologize for the long delay of this story. I tried to make a way for this to be longer than it should be. Most of you asked me to make this a multi-chapter story and not just a three-shot. I tried, really. I tried to create some scenarios in my head. Unfortunately, I'm lacking imagination these days so I stuck with my original plan; which was posting this story in three chapters. I think I poured everything in my mind to my last story 'Later.' Again, I apologize. Anyway, thank you for the favorites, alerts, and encouragement. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thank you.**


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